Tired

I just need to vent a little bit.  I am soo tired of everything going on in our lives right now.  I'm getting really excited for baby M to join our family and I'm just dying cuz I have seriously been sick for 4+ months.  Just when I thought morning sickness was going away I get an awful cold now going on 3 weeks that resulted in a sinus infection and last night during the Caucus meeting I started getting a tickle in my throat that has turned into incessant coughing.  I give up.  I can't keep up with it all.  My only saving grace is that my kids are old enough now to entertain themselves and are more self-sufficient to take care of themselves.  Oh wait but there's more.  This week, 3 more of us got sick with fevers and congestion and aches.  Today is the 1st day all week where there is only 1 other body here with me during school.  Hopefully this weekend will bring some "well" thoughts.  

So you think that's all eh? There can't possibly be anything else that is going wrong in KT's life, Not even close.  We were planning after Randy gets a job to sell our mini van and get a suburban just for the sake of room.  The van is tight with the 6 of us and adding a 7th was just going to put everyone over the edge.  Randy walks in graduation in the middle of April and will be completely done the beginning of June.  I figure oh we can last till then, well we can but the van may be another story.  Wednesday the check engine light came on and so we took it in.  Randy and decided that if was  going to cost a lot that maybe it was time to sell it and beg his parents to drive their "burb" around for a few months till we get everything figured out.  To fix the minimum in the van to get the light to go off was going to be $500 and if we wanted to do every other little thing that was not as important was going to be $1000.  Now that may seem like not a lot of money considering it could be $2000 but when we've already replaced the breaks, a brake light cover and the alternator within the last 8 months that puts us way over what we were expecting to put into this van of ours.  So we decided to fix the minimum and have cleaned it up to start preparing to sell it, (ya know find all of the documents and get things in order).  We got it back yesterday and drove it around a bit then this morning on my way to take the kids to school the dang light comes on again.  I almost started to cry.  WHY WHY WHY.  I just want to be done with this thing.  So I took it back in and the guy checked and said "well now instead of a major leak it is showing a small leak.  You'll be fine through the weekend but if it comes on again, just bring it in on Monday."  I DON'T WANT TO PUT ANYMORE MONEY INTO THIS THING!!!!  Just a few more months till our lives were going to settle down (at least from a school/financial aspect).  It's been a great little van, we've had to fix a few hoses throughout the past couple of years and until this year we've never had any major problems with it.  It's been through a lot, and been good to us, but it is time to let it go.

As I was finishing this I got a call from Randy telling me that one of the students that works for him just called him and said that he wasn't going to be back to work for a bit.  Randy, being the sarcastic boss that he is started giving this guy a hard time, (jokingly) and comes to show that his wife who has had 5 miscarriages in the last couple of years (1 just a few weeks ago) just found out her father collapsed at work and was unable to be revived. Wow.  What a wake up call for me.  Here I am complaining about being sick for what feels like forever and having to take care of my sick kids. . .
1) I have children of my own that are healthy (relatively) and growing well who I love.
2) I can get and stay pregnant relatively easily (almost too easily sometimes).  And although I feel like crap right now most of the time, I am not on bed rest and my baby is not in distress.
3) I have parents who are still around and although they have some medical issues to deal with, they are still here and I love them and I can't wait till my mom comes next week to visit.
4) I do have a vehicle that gets me from point A to point B that doesn't die unexpectedly and though it needs a little work is still a great car and I'm sure has a lot more miles to give.
I need to stop complaining and be grateful for all the things that do have and still have.  Sometimes we just need a reality check and get us back in line.  I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and right now is not the time to be complaining and whining, I need to be happy where I am at and realize that this all to shall pass.  We are given trials and tribulations for a reason and it's what we learn from them that make us grow.  Man I feel like I'm giving a talk at church. . . AMEN!  Now if I could get this cough to go away so my head doesn't feel like it's going to explode I'll be good, lol.